Ins And Outs Of Indy
Eleven hour drive. ELEVEN. WITH TODDLERS. Arriving in Indy after a two day drive (we're not crazy) was the most exciting thing to happen to us since Chris and I's last date night. Then we remembered we had to unpack our entire lives from a truck. Insert annoyed look emoticon here. Thankfully we had some amazing people that came by and helped us unload and put away the never-ending volume of belongings we've acquired throughout our lives. As a parent, the first thing you try to do is get your kid(s) settled. If they are less stressed, you are less stressed. Let's be honest, that's a whole involved issue that no one really wants to tackle. Beds (if they sleep, you get more done), snacks (because you haven't done any shopping yet), clothes (it's cold up north), entertainment (distracted is the next best thing to sleeping), and I can't think of anything else right now because it's only been forty-eight hours since we've arrived and I'm still exhausted. The only reoccuring thought I have is my need for coffee, a nap, or possibly a Redbull.
But that seems to be where we naturally go; even as Christians. I'll pray about most anything, but the last thing I tend to pray about is energy. I don't depend on God when I'm physically weak, but instead I look towards a manmade material in order to "make it through". As a permanently exhausted parent, I'm not saying that I don't need to sleep or rest, but what I am saying is that often times I don't go to Christ first in those tiring moments. Instead I focus on what is draining and stressful and how I can fix it. I make the issue about myself, instead of giving it to God.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint".
-Isaiah 40:28-31
Why do I continually try to be my own strength? When will I learn that I am not enough? In these times, God reminds me of the grace He daily shows me. His grace is something I will never deserve and yet He bestows it upon me. How crazy is that? That is the ultimate love. He loves me through every sassy moment with Chris, every harsh word with my kids, every body-shaming thought about myself, every judgmental thought and sometimes comment about a stranger, HE LOVES ME. With every moment that I am unlovable, He loves me. I am trying to be more open about my struggles and weaknesses as a Christian and that's not easy. Chris commented a few weeks ago when we were discussing about venturing out and building relationships with people and I'm going to share that with you. If you don't know, Chris is a huge introvert unless he is holding a guitar (Sorry hun, but you are). When I brought up the topic of going out and meeting, he responded with that he is not that outgoing and that it's hard for him to meet new people. Now don't get me wrong, and I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but I know when he is making excuses.
How did I know that Chris was making excuses about going out and building relationships with people? I knew because when I was younger I was the epitome of an introvert. So much so, that I would become anxious and stressed with visiting family. Yes, me. How did I become this super fabulous extrovert that you know and love? (Sarcasm) .. I looked at all these people that God used in the bible (Seriously). They weren't perfect; They had serious flaws. They weren't eloquent speakers. They were barely put together. BUT, they were in Christ. And when Christ calls you, He is calling YOU. He is calling the flawed individual. And He created you, so it's not like He's surprised or waiting for you to be like someone else in order to answer His call. He is calling the individual that He put together to reach His lost and dying people. And I'm not saying that I don't still get nervous or anxious when meeting new people. Honestly, I dread it. The thing is, my faith and love for God surpasses those fears and at the end of the day I want to be able to say that I served Him the best that I could that day. No regrets. Chris may struggle with this, but to me it just shows again why God has meant for us to be together. Where he may fall, as his wife, I can help uplift and encourage with the love of Christ because I have experienced that struggle in my life, and still do and Christ continues to encourage and love me. As his wife, where I fall short and struggle and fail, he is able to do the same for me through Christ.
So with more faith instead of fear, here are my current struggles and would love some prayer for.
-Our transition to Indy, because when has a move ever been easy.
-Loving the flawed person that I am, and knowing that God has a role for me even when I may not see it.
-Finding encouragement to push through on a job that is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining.
-Being more patient with Chris and our children, because they're adjusting as well.
-Uneasiness about being part of a church plant again, and remaining faithful in God's calling that He placed on our lives.
-Monetary stress, because moves and new places come with expenses and remaining faithful in that what we truly need that God will provide because He has called us here.
Last but certainly not least, our family wants to give a shoutout to everyone that been such a huge blessing, whether they know it or not.
*Rebecca Salmeron, because of your monetary blessing, we were able to buy groceries that week, because we had to save every last penny we had for our last rent payment in North Carolina.
*Cindy Cooligan, because of your monetary blessing, we were able to get our car some serious TLC in the exact amount that God put on your heart, otherwise our car would literally not have made the long journey to Indianapolis.
*Refuge Church, because of your monetary blessings, we have been able to come to Indiana before December, we have been able to have somewhere to live instead of being homeless (I'm not kidding), we have been able to pay for a truck to bring our belonging to Indiana with us (which is great because our place is not already furnished), physically helping us to move in to our new place, providing us with food for two weeks after our move, with free grocery delivery for a year, for the continual outpouring of love and community you constantly are showing our family.
*Sharon Garth (my mom), because of your monetary blessings prior to and during our transition to Indy, we were able to to save ours and get a better head start in Indiana. You helped with our wild at heart kids. You helped with the incredible amount of packing we still had left to do, even after I would have to leave for work. You helped us pack and the truck and begin our journey.
*Lynn Fletcher (Chris' uncle), because of your monetary blessing, we were able to afford a deposit on a place to live in Indianapolis, and would not have been able to afford otherwise.
*Jacob Mitchell, because of your willingness to not only help us move out of our apartment in North Carolina, but your willingness to drive our U-Hual, and help us move in to our house in Indiana, we wouldn't even be where we are now. Not to mention willingly watching our children so that Chris and I were able to visit a possible school for autism that would help Micah thrive in every aspect of his life and for that we will never be able to say or do enough for you.
Numerous other people have played and continue to play such a huge role in our lives and I would never be able to do them all justice, but I want everyone to know how much they have all meant and that every prayer, words of encouragement, or even monetary gift, has blessed us in so many ways and continues to show us that even when it is hard to see the plan that God has for your life, that the important part is remaining faithful, because His timing is perfect and when it is time, He will reveal what He needs to.
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."
-James 1:12
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